Dear Scholastic Surrogate: Sharing Special Moments With Overseas IPs

Dear Scholastic Surrogate:

I’m a gestational surrogate and my intended parents are international. I want to make sure that I involve them in the process as much as possible since they aren’t able to be at every doctor’s appointment with me. It’s also important to me that we have a good relationship with each other, and I’m nervous it may be harder to do since I’m in New Mexico and they’re overseas. Do you have any ideas on ways to do this? -GC for Overseas IPs

Hi, GC for Overseas IPs - 

There are many ways a surrogate living in New Mexico can keep her intended parent(s) who live overseas involved. While it may take a little added effort, the experience with international IPs can be equally, if not more, rewarding. No matter what the geographical distance, the bottom line is that you are making their dream of becoming parents a reality. Whether your intended parent(s) live next door or in another country, the key to a good relationship with them is communication! Thankfully, with technology, there is a plethora of ways to communicate from a distance! They can still receive texts (WhatsApp, Viber, WeChat or many other programs), emails and be reached by telephone just as easily as local IPs. Responses can be immediate, and information can be shared in real time which is wonderful. Another way technology has helped shorten the distance is that you can Facetime/Skype with your IPs during important appointments so it can feel as though they are present and right there with you. They can offer support and ask the doctor questions directly. Skype, Facetime, WeChat and Viber can also help you to speak directly to your IPs when building your relationship. 

One special way to keep them involved is sending lots of video and photos. Include things like videos of appointments they can’t make, ultrasound photos and some photos and videos of yourself as your pregnancy develops and as your body changes (Please make certain to ask your IPs if they want pictures. For some this can be a traumatic reminder that they can’t carry themselves!).

There may be an opportunity to meet in person for “big” appointments like the embryo transfer or the 20 week ultrasound. Naturally, the IP(s) will want to be there for the birth of the child, so they generally try to arrive several weeks before the due date. These in person visits are a great time to continue to build upon your relationship.

Dear Scholastic Surrogate:

I’m a gestational carrier in the process of being matched. There is an international couple interested in me. I had not really thought of that possibility. I’ve thought of some of the cons of having international intended parents, but are there any advantages over a domestic match? -IP Searching

Dear IP Searching -

Congratulations on your gestational surrogacy journey! The matching process is very exciting, and it’s great that you have someone interested in you! We believe that communication is key in a good match, regardless of where the IP is geographically located. Some GCs express concern about a possible language barrier when considering an international match, but if language is an issue, interpreters can be provided to help with the communication. Some look at this as an opportunity to learn a new culture and new language (at least certain key phrases and important words) and being able to share these things with your family and children is a gift. You can use this opportunity to expand your knowledge about a place that you may never have had a chance to visit and now you may have a wonderful new reason to travel. Having international IPs can be a great addition to your surrogacy journey and can add to your experience by sharing your different cultures, languages and backgrounds with each other. An international match provides both the GC and the IP(s) a great growth and learning opportunity that could enhance the surrogacy journey in so many ways!

If you are needing a Gestational Carrier and would like to have a free consult with New Mexico Surrogacy please click here or if you want to help someone achieve their dreams of having a family by being a Gestational Carrier please click here to fill out our intake form.

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