What’s a good support system, and why is it important for surrogates?
With any major life decision, and especially with pregnancy, it helps so much to have a good support system around you. In order to be a gestational carrier, you need to have had your own children, so you know how taxing that can be sometimes as a pregnant woman. With surrogacy, you are adding in even more relationships, personalities, and variables as you carry a child for Intended Parents. Having people that will support you, step in to help or even just listen can help with the surrogacy process. Who can you reach out to for support?
You should always have a main support person(s), this person is meant to share the journey with you. They are meant to provide physical, emotional, or mental support throughout the process – it doesn’t have to be one person providing all these things, but they all are important! This person is reliable and committed to take on any task or step in on your behalf if needed. This could be spouse, partner, mother, sister, or friend.
While your main support person is important, and may end up being a few people, having additional friends and family that are supportive is an added bonus. These are people that you can lean on if needed and support you through the surrogacy process. Being pregnant can be hard and having people to help with meals, your children, or anything you may need is essential. Even knowing who you would use for childcare during screening or transfer, if needed, is important. Many times, you may need childcare for some appointments, depending on children’s ages, and for during/right after the birth. You want to plan for the unexpected and having multiple people to help out in a time of need can be less stress on you.
Last, but not least, is your agency. The agency staff, especially your case manager, can help, can be there for you. If nothing else, they can listen or talk through what to do next. Many agencies have support groups or have allowances for psychological support. You should take advantage of those resources, not only from the surrogacy community, but from professionals who know the surrogacy industry. They can be great resources, especially when navigating the emotional and mental part of the surrogacy journey.
Here are some of the times to think through that having that support system can be especially helpful: The day of medical screening, depending on if you have to travel and/or if your partner has to attend. Monitoring appointments before transfer. The actual transfer day, which could include significant travel. Monitoring appointments after transfer. OB appointments especially ones with ultrasounds. And, of course, the birth! These are just a few examples.
It is vital for you to be as stress free and comfortable as possible during this process and a network of good friends, family members, and other supportive people to lean on is vital.
Have more questions about the surrogacy process? Thought about being a gestational surrogate? We would love to talk with you! Fill out our intake today and our intake coordinator will give you a call.