New Mexico: Adoption vs. Surrogacy

When we were little, we would plan out how our lives would be eventually. Many times, that plan includes children; becoming a mom or becoming a dad. For some people that plan is a bit harder or feels out of reach. Whether you are suffering from infertility or do not have all the necessary pieces, today’s technology greatly expands the options for you. Because of these incredible advances in technology, one of the major questions people often face now is: Adoption vs Biological.

According to Adoption Network,“of the over 400,000 children in foster care in the U.S., 114,556 cannot be returned to their families and are waiting to be adopted.” That does not include international or infant births! The feeling of joy and elation when you adopt your child can’t be matched. Conversely, attempting to adopt can sometimes lead to bittersweet heartache if the mother changes her mind or if the child you are fostering is reunited with their family (yay for their family being happy and whole, though!) Adoption is a great option to give a child a home, but it is no longer your only option.

Through IVF (in vitro fertilization) and a gestational carrier, having a biological child is now a much more viable possibility. A gestational carrier merely acts as a “babysitter” for your embryos and at the end of the process your sweet baby goes home with you!

Three things to consider when you are looking at starting a family:

Legality

Once again, the variables are numerous, and a lot can depend on which state or country the process will happen in. You should always consult with a legal expert before starting either process. The amazing thing about surrogacy and using a gestational carrier is that typically the child is genetically related to the intended parents (the exception is genetic surrogacy, previously known as traditional surrogacy) and, depending on the state where the gestational carrier gives birth, their names go on the birth certificate. I know we all hear those horror stories, but in reality, those are rare. Fertility clinics and gestational carriers are typically very cautious about this process and making sure that the process is not disturbed. Gestational carriers choose to give this incredible gift and are aware from the beginning the child is not theirs, therefore they are not giving up anything, only giving it back.

Adoption on the other hand, even with some legal in place, the adoptive mother can change her mind and decide to keep the baby.

Cost

The average cost for adoption is $43,000, but it can vary widely depending on so many different variables. For example, agency fees, international fees, age of the child being adopted, legal, travel, and so much more.

Surrogacy costs $130,000 on average. Some variables that can affect the cost are agency vs independent, travel, legal, needing egg and/or sperm donor, medical costs of the gestational carrier and more.

I know what you are thinking... that is an $87,000 difference! However, we are talking about creating a little human who is part of you and typically came from your genetics; being a parent is never inexpensive. Additionally, your gestational carrier knew from the start that she was carrying your little bundle of joy specifically for you and is happy to hand the baby over (and she gets to skip the sleepless nights!)

Time

It is very difficult to give a timeframe, even an average, as the variables are numerous! Just a few for adoption are agency requirements, how far along the birth mother is, how specific or flexible you are on your preferences, how specific and flexible the birth mother is on *her* preferences, and the list goes on. 

Surrogacy variables include waitlist for gestational carriers, birth control, embryos made or not, clinic requirements, insurance issues and many more.

In a perfect world in either situation you are likely looking at more than a year.

Whichever path you choose to accomplish your dream of a family, it will be incredible. With both adoption and gestational surrogacy there are many steps, and legalities that take place. We always recommend using an agency and a lawyer with experience in either area. If you would like to learn more about having a child through surrogacy, visit our website here!